A love letter to the HHS class of 2002

Maybe we weren't all friends, maybe some of us hardly new each other, but looking back I feel nothing but love and gratitude for the HHS class of 2002.

Just so this doesn't look like it came out of no where, I should mention that my 10 year HS reunion was last weekend and while I couldn't make it (something about living 3000 miles away... LOL) it made me stop and think about a lot of things.

The first and for whatever reason most important thing is in 2002, right before HS graduation I will always remember telling my family's neighbor how excited I was to go to college and how excited I was that my friends and I were all sort of staying nearish by so we could visit and get together, and how I was going to email and keep in touch with my friends who weren't staying so close by and all those cliche things someone says at the end of something.  But I remember most, is her very distinctly telling me I wouldn't keep in touch with my high school friends, we wouldn't see each other, even though we said we would, because that's just how the world works, you grow up you move on and keeping in touch isn't as easy it sounds.  I was floored by this bit of news, but decided to not let it bother (clearly it bothered me enough that 10 years later I'm telling you fine folk about it).


I don't think of the people I keep in touch with as my "high school friends" I think of these people as my "whole life friends"  because many of these people I have known almost my whole life, or at least the parts of my life that really mattered the most. These are the people I went to elementary school with, middle school with, high school with and a few I even went to college with.  And I'd like to thank(in chronological order) AIM, live journal, free after 9 cell phone minutes, free long distance on your cell phone, free mobile to mobile calling, unlimited text messaging, facebook, unlimited everything cell phone plans, getting a paycheck so we could afford to travel to each other, and skype for making sure that I can in fact keep touch..

And like I said maybe I'm not exactly BFF's with most of my graduating class, but it amuses me to no end that every now and then I'll get a comment or a wall post from someone in my graduating class just checking in or saying hi.  In fact I'd like to think because of the huge amount of communication technology we now have at our literal fingertips I have become better friends with certain people from HS.

I like how get really really happy when I  see a text message or a facebook post, or a phone call (I'm still bad at answering the phone I know!) from a friend who knows my whole life story and in spite of (or maybe because of!) it still wants to be my friend.  I love how the best part of saying goodbye to these people is the chance to say hello again, and how happy and excited we all  get counting down the days till we can see each other again.

Because there is nothing in the world like the balm to the soul that is being surrounded by old friends, nothing in the world like knowing no matter what these people will love you for who you were, are and becoming, nothing in the world like hugging someone you've missed for a long time!


So, I guess in away my neighbor was right, I didn't keep in touch with my HS friends.

 I just kept in touch with my friends that I love now just like I did when I had that conversation.




I said this was a love letter to my graduating class, so here's to you class of 2002...(some of these apply to everyone, some apply to small groups, some apply only to certain specific people)


The people who apparently love chicken patties so much that our class president ran on a platform promising them everyday.

The people who were in the classroom with, or down the hall from on 9/11.

The people who know "it's up to you in 2002!"

The people who were told by advisors or teachers, or even parents or other students that they couldn't do something, and then did it anyway... (especially those at the bottom of the alphabet LOL)

The people who heard Eve 6's "Here's to the Night" the summer before senior year and took all the words to heart.

The people who used all 4 years of HS as their very first "Metamorphosis"

(and to the people who were fortunate enough (or maybe unfortunate enough) to hear my very impassioned speech on Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" that Gregor Sampson was not in fact actually turned into a bug... I stand by this)

The people who didn't have an iPod in HS, because iPods weren't a thing until right before we graduated.

To the people who have the yearbook signed by 2002's best Dressed Mindy Fhoweveryouspellit with note to save it because someday she was gonna be famous!

To the people who were fortunate enough to meet the cast of Hedda Gabler in NY, because our awesome teacher happened to know one of the actors (and thus remember the line "Hi my name is (name) Mr. Hynes is my teacher...") 

The people who still get choked up when they hear "With One Look" or "On the Waterfront" The people who still cringe a little when they even hear the words "Russian Christmas Music" or "hoods" and still smile when they hear the opening chords to "SCHERHAZADE"... the people who know that sometimes getting demoted is the best thing in the world.


The people who can finish the speech "you're gonna get your butts kicked, you're gonna your asses handed to you..."

To the few people who still my Gimpy...

The people who have a hard time turning off "Oh Holy Night" when it appears on your playlist and it's not Christmas time... for that matter who have it on their playlist at all times.

The people who don't think it's strange when you find yourself humming and maybe still singing a long to Carmina Burana.

The people who swing around lamposts and ask "what'cha knowing?" , the people whose hands still burst into jazz hands at the words "bop... bop bop"

The people who "studied" for the AP history exam by going to Taco Bell and then had to break into a friends house because she locked herself out.

The people who created and participated in the first ever Youth Bureau Lockin

The people who remember the time The Ghost of Christmas Past was a "little late"

The people who understand the phrase "watcher man in all that tweed..." and "star wars puem puem" and understand that strawberry is the opposite of banana (or stake for that matter)

The people who understand what "not in my car!" "you save my ass, I'll save yours" "partners in crime" mean

The people who were rivals in HS who are now people you can't imagine your life without (you totally know who you are!)


The people who went to "college to get more knowledge" and participated in senior walk around the block with balloons day, who were destined to become the "best and the brightest"... who went to college when the economy was still booming and graduated just in time for it start to fall apart...the people who survived in and maybe even thrived in the worst recession our generation has seen... the people who haven't give up yet.

The people who are fortunate enough to remember that we were a class of people that didn't have a clique problem, a class of people where the football players and cheerleaders were also in the school plays or the band, the 'smart kids' were also jocks, the quiet kids also burst into song, the class who managed to work together to get shit done and get shit done right!


Again, I look back on my time at HHS with love and gratitude, not only to my class, but to our teachers, and our parents.  It was quite a ride, but the last 10 years have been an even crazier one, and while I enjoyed my time at HHS, let's be real, I wouldn't do high school again.

Putting myself out there and admitting (again) I don't take enough advantage of the fact...

...that I live in Los Angles.  A coworker said something like that to me the other day.  He said he and his wife "dont' take enough advantage of Los Angeles"  it got me thinking, that I too don't take enough advantage of Los Angeles, and in retrospect wasn't that part of what starting this blog was all about?

So here I sit 6 months and 1 day in to my second move to Los Angeles (and my third move cross country)  and I spent the last 2 hours outside enjoying the most perfect day of weather ever.  A perfect Sunny 75 degrees with not a cloud in the sky.  And most days are like this in Los Angeles, and most days like this I spend either at work or watching TV on my couch.  It's sad really, but I think part of it is because when you have 290 plus days of sunshine a year, what makes one of them any more special than any other?  Probably nothing, but then again, you never know where they day will take you if you don't get off the couch a little more. So I spent the morning dog sitting my good friends dog and drinking my coffee on the patio.  I spent sometime sitting by the pool at my apartment with a good book and a cold (non alcoholic) beverage, and I took advantage of yet another perfect day of weather.

It was a week ago my TV finally arrived from the East Coast, I had gotten such a good deal on when I bought it that I knew selling it was never going to help me get another TV so I let it sit at my old upstairs neighbors house in CT while I tried to figure out the best way to get it here.  If I had known it would have been as cheap and easy as it was, I'd like to think I would have done it a long time ago.  I wouldn't have, but I'd like to think that I would have.  It always just seemed like so much effort to ship...

It wasn't until this morning while I was making the bed at my friends house where I stayed to dog sit for the last few days I realized what it was about the last 6 months and 1 day in LA that made me a little gun shy, maybe a little more reserved than I had hoped the move back to LA would make me...

...The fear that this was all just temporary. The fear that maybe if I got to attached, I'd have to leave again and I'd be heartbroken over it once again.

Since I'm being so open at the moment, and since this whole blog is about putting myself out there, I'm going to be honest... I feel like I knew 30 days (30 days... 1 month!) in to my move to CT, that I wanted that to be temporary. I knew 6 months and 1 day in that it was going to be temporary and that Los Angeles really was where I wanted to call home. I feel like I got up everyday knowing that it was temporary and thus didn't feel the need to experience anything that was going on around me.  Which I know is kind of a counter intuitive way of looking at the situation, because normally if things are temporary you should WANT to experience all you can because you might not be there later.  But in my case it was because it just didn't matter and it was all going to go away and I could get back to what I had been referring to for sometime as "my real life" , so why bother putting down roots, roots would mean a tree would grow and form branches and grow leaves, and other tree metaphors...and I didn't want to be a tree in CT.  I spent a lot of time sad, alone and maybe even a little depressed, I was afraid if I let myself enjoy it, I'd never leave, I'd get complacent and I'd become a tree.

I once again naively thought that moving back to LA would be a cure all for all those things I mentioned above.  Newsflash... it wasn't, but it wasn't until just now I think I realized why.  I was afraid I couldn't become a tree here, and here is where I want to become a tree (or a cookie!).

I can experience things and fall back in love with Los Angeles (hell maybe even fall in love with someone, because for the first time ever I think I really want too, and I feel like I really can... but that's a different post) because here is where I want to be a tree!  I want to take advantage of the fact that I live here, I want to experience all those things I didn't or couldn't experience in CT and I want to be here now... and probably (possibly) always. I want to make being here worth being here, worth putting down my roots, and becoming a tree!

I need to snap out of it, I need to realize that I can't experience the world from my couch, which I admit I have gotten quite used to doing.  I need to do things even if they take what I would consider "too much effort" because as it turns out those are things that are worth doing (case in point this week I drove to Hollywood and I sat in line for three hours to make sure my friends and I could get tickets to a screening of Jurassic Park in cemetery and then waited another 2 hours before the movie started and while that sounds insane and like a lot of effort... I had really excellent evening!!) I need to realize that I'll still be able to do my job even if I'm a little more tired because the night before I went to a concert, or out with friends or whatever.  (this doesn't mean I'm going to go crazy before those 5am mornings) I need to embrace the insanity of it all and just be here now... because forever or not, there is no point in living in LA if I'm just going to sit on my couch.

Putting myself out there and admitting some people were right... and some people were wrong...

Part 2.

How television has actually made my life better.

It's been surprisingly hard to write this post, and somewhat annoying considering I could write the 5 (albeit satirical) reasons it has ruined in all of about 20 minutes. It took me a while to understand why that this has been so hard to write, but it comes down to this, it's much harder to quantify the ways my life is better, it's hard to put into concise words the joy I get from television.

And before you label me as an obsessed fan, or someone who needs to get a life, let me mention again, I work in television... I help create, quality control, approve, produce, sometimes write, log and book the shows that you watch on a daily basis. I help "ruin" peoples lives every day! And it makes me so undeniably happy, that it's hard to put it all down in one post. But, because I've been taught to never give up, dang nabit, I'm gonna try.

1) Television, has allowed me to see things I had previously only seen in books.

In 2006, I went to Italy, and not just for some vacation. I worked at 2006 winter Olympics, something I have wanted to do since 1996 when I watched all 16 days of the Olympics (though I had to watch the epic Kerri Strugg vault via highlight the next day because despite the fact that it was summer vacation my mom made me go to bed before the live conclusion of the NBC broadcast, a moment I'll never let her forget (love you madre!) ) Looking back it was the 1996 Olympics that made me want to go into television as career. After that I couldn't get enough of the Olympics, I apparently couldn't get enough of TV. In High School, despite the fact that my favorite class was always English, I would ask if I could make a video instead of right a paper every chance I got, I took every video or communications class my school district had to offer (which for the record was one) and for my 14th birthday and subsequent birthday's after that I got every behind the scenes book written about Buffy there was. In college I majored in television/radio communications. The least academic major on the planet, a major that people with academic majors asked me what I planned to do with once I graduate college, a major that a few of my friends from HS labeled as "not a real" major. A major that made me work harder than I ever thought possible (at the time), a major that made me exhausted, cranky and sometimes frustrated, but made me happier than I had ever been previous (and I was a pretty happy kid by nature). And it culminated with an offer to go to the Olympics as an Intern, to be part of the broadcast I had been watching for years, and the opportunity to see Italy. I was done with school and was able to take 2.5 weeks prior to the Olympics on vacation in Italy. I got to see the Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, the David etc. And it was because I chose to turn my obsession with TV into my career.

I also go to see a lot of what the US has to offer. After college I spent 4 months touring the country making videos for the web and following around the worlds greatest Drum and Bugle Corps. I got to hit many of the major US cities and again see things I only dreamed of. I also go to work in the Georgia Dome, the site of the aforementioned Kerri Strug vault.

And for those of you who don't know, TV happens in Los Angeles, so when I decided to move to LA, I drove cross country, which allowed me to see even more of the country, and cross off "drive cross country" on my list of life to do's. I've driven cross country twice now, so add the states I saw the second time to the list too.

2) It has allowed me to live all over the US. I have lived in 4 states because of TV, and 2 major US cities. It has allowed me to do exactly what I always said I was going to do... get out of my small town. I have always knows from as far back as I can remember that I may have been more in a small town, but I was not cut out for small town life. So, once I was old enough and educated (well at least formally) enough I left, I lived in Chicago, Los Angeles, Bristol (not a major city and lesson learned) and back in Los Angeles. But I'm out, I'm a city girl, I can honestly say I was right, I'm a city dweller, a city lover, and I just cannot get enough of the insanity.

3) My TV watching while doing homework/reading a book/trying to sleep has actually come to help me. The real world folks is not quiet. Not quiet at all. When I worked for a major talkshow it was loud in the bullben I worked in, TV's were constantly on because we had the show on while it was taping, the show on while it was airing, other talkshows on so we could know what everyone else was talking about, CNN on because we had to make sure we were following trends in the news, or figure out what stories were being talked about etc. It was loud, and ya know what I was productive, I was unfazed by the noise, the constant flickering the insanity of it all. Why? Probably because I always had noise on when I was doing anything, music, TV, a movie etc. Do I advocated doing what I did for everyone? Of course not, but in my case it worked.

Also, my obsession with TV has made me observant of things the average viewer may never even notice, and while that sounds like obsessed fan who needs to get a life, once again it actually paid off for me. Right now part of my job involves me going through shows and segments to pick out things that other producers may not have, looking for errors, looking for things that are different etc, and not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty darn good at it, and I probably wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact that I watched a lot of TV as a kid.

4) TV distracts me at the gym. I'm one of those people who can become so engrossed in a show on TV that I often forget that I'm on elliptical or a treadmill. I once ran 4 miles while watching Family Guy, I can't run 4 miles if I'm thinking about, but I can apparently do it while watching TV. I have even been known to keep my ipod on, and read along with the closed captioning to distract myself from the fact that I'm doing something that isn't exactly thrilling. I remember being at the gym at 6:30 morning on the elliptical and in tears because Bill Clinton had brought the Journalists home from North Korea, and being so overwhelmed with how awesome it was that I managed to accidentally stay an extra 20 minutes on the machine. So, clearly TV doesn't exactly make me lazy. Also, I over the years have frequently worked 18 hour days, 7 days a week, so lazy isn't my vocabulary.

5) TV has allowed me to meet some of the worlds most gifted an talented people. The people who pioneered television, who have allowed me to have a job. Hell TV has allowed me to work with Florence Henderson! (that's right folks Mrs. Brady was my boss for a year!) I got to meet all sorts of celebrities, and that's not even the coolest people I've met. I've met the producers of shows that have defined generations, I have had the opportunity to hear about the early days of radio and how it turned into television and to hear the real, sometimes gritty, history of television. I've had the opportunity to visit with people who shamed the media landscape, and in many ways the actual city I call home. I have been blessed, and I realize how fortunate it makes me, and I realize that while TV isn't exactly the most academic field, there is always something more to learn about a great and many things. This one is hard to put into words, but the people I worked with during that time will get it, and I get it, and that's all that matters.

And 6 for good measure, because TV really has changed my life, made it better and continues to make it awesome!

6) I have met the most incredible friends and people because of TV. I was always fortunate to have amazing friends surrounding me, and I have continued to make more as I go. The people I met in college are people I'm still friends with, and people I wouldn't have met if I hadn't chose the college I did, which is a college I wouldn't have went too if I didn't want to make tv for a living. These people have become my second family, these people are people I would do anything for and people who would do anything for me. The people I've met because of TV are people who have helped me not only further my career but better myself outside my job. The people I've met have literally gotten me jobs when I've needed employment, and I've done the same for them. The people I've met in TV have taken a chance on a 22 year old kid who probably didn't know what she was doing, but helped me foster my creativity and my skills and helped make me better at what it is I want to do. The people I've met in TV have laughed with me, cried with me, drank with me and all around made me a more well rounded happier person. I wouldn't be where I was today if wasn't for them (quite literally in many ways) I wouldn't be who I am and I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing without them. So maybe my television habits as a kid alienated some people and made me a little bit anti-social, I think in the end it opened me up to more people and experiences.

So, I guess I proved the scientists and the parents of the world wrong on some level. I'm not dumb, I'm a wealth of knowledge and experiences that just because they are not strictly academic (or American History based) are still worth something, and I'm a wealth of knowledge when it comes to Hollywood History, which is in America so there! I'm not delusional, I recognize now that it is in fact possible to dream bigger than I ever thought possible. I'm not antisocial, I am constantly surrounded by the most amazing people, I'm not lazy I work all the time, and I want to work all the time, I get antsy if I'm not on the go all the time, and I'll admit to being a little bit ADD, but it works for me, stuff always gets done. As for broke, I get paid because of TV and while I'll be paying off the student loans I accrued while attending the college I chose so I could make TV, maybe at some point I'll sell a show, or reach the top of my field and while I will never be rich, maybe just maybe I'll be okay.

Admitting some people were right...and some people were wrong

...also known as putting my television viewing habits out there for the world to see.

Inspired by this EPIC ARTICLE about how Buffy "ruined" the posters life, I have too have since decided to list the 5 ways my television viewing habits "ruined my life"... and then the 5 reasons television has changed my life, made it better and continues to make it awesome.

1) I watched so much television as a kid (ahem, ahem the aforementioned Buffy) that to this day I can still quote random episodes of Buffy (tell you the season it was from, the name of the episode and probably the next line, who said it and the context), the other night at dinner I made a super random, obscure and somewhat incomplete reference to Full House... (the best part being my roommate knew exactly what I was talking about, but this isn't about her viewing habits). I am literally a walking encyclopedia (props if you know how that is actually said) of 90's, early 2000's television. I can name random things like who won the emmy and for what during certain years, I can tell you random details of many an Olympic broadcast from that time.

Ya know what I cannot tell you? A damn fact I learned in AP History! Sure I learned a lot of other things that stuck with me (how to not procrastinate, how to pick up on minor themes in complicated literature, how to have an actual full out debate with a classmate about said minor themes, time management, how to do something right the first time etc.) but as far as actual facts, and dates and people go? Not. A. Damn. Thing. It should come as no to surprise to you that I got a 2 on the AP History exam. An exam that cost my parents something like $76 they probably didn't have to spend on a test that I was destine to fail. My head is (and continues to be) full of random, useless TV facts, quotes, episode titles, song lyrics, cast lists, random imdb facts that no one ever really pays attention too, but come facts and details I learned, or rather heard, in AP History? Not one thing comes to mind at this point in time. And other than the dreaded AP exam, I did pretty well in the class, was I at the top... no. Was I at the bottom... also no... but years later I got nothing.

2) I secretly hoped my senior prom would be some "perfect high school moment" and it would be all the glitz and magic I saw on TV. I would have an amazing pink dress, and while the lead up to my prom might have been something of a disaster (see Buffy, Dawson's Creek, Saved by the Bell, Dj's senior prom on Full House (not Steve's!), and for that matterShe's All That) the actual night would be amazing, and somehow everything would turn out the way I had always dreamed.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not what happened. Though to be fair, my HS did have the prom in the gym, so that was sort of like TV. Thank God, I have awesome friends who were there, otherwise it would have been even worse. For starters, my amazing pink dress? Was a not so amazing homemade salmon colored dress...(long story short I had bigger than DD's so nothing I could find in stores would fit without massive alterations and my mom just lost her job a few months previous so...) that still didn't fit right. My hair frizzed, my dress didn't fit right and my mom and I spent all afternoon trying to figure out how I could wear it without the aforementioned bigger than DD's wouldn't fly out all over the place. I missed the pictures my friends all gathered together to take at another friends house (though they all showed up on my doorstep an hour later to make sure pictures could still be taken) everyone had a date but me, my purse didn't match my dress, the food was icky, and the bracelet I wore made it so halfway through the prom my arm started to itch and turn red with what I remember to be hives... no perfect prom moment there.

3) In a world before DVR, and little sisters who would sometimes hit the wrong buttons on the VCR so things wouldn't get recorded, I sometimes didn't go out when invited so I could watch my favorite shows. In fact in 2004, I spent all 16 days of the Olympics at my house watching them with rapt report...I couldn't get enough, it was summer vacation the last couple of weeks of summer... and I didn't want to go out! I wonder if I alienated people in this process? I wonder if this is now why I'm sometimes way happier to sit at home with my cats and watch TV then venture out into the loud crowded sometimes sticky and always expensive bars in the city I call home. I love the idea of coming home from work sitting in my snuggy with my cats and watching reruns of Law and Order SVU, America's Next Top Model and Cupcake wars... I also love that idea on a day off!! It might even have made me a bit lazy!

4) I sometimes cannot fall asleep without background noise and the glow of a faint tv/laptop/computer/iphone screen... I've apparently become accustomed to ever present sound of TV. Also, because of this I have the attention span of a small child and cannot sit still at all, ever and have a hard time paying attention to one thing at a time (as I write this, the TV is def on next to me)

5) My TV viewing habits are costing me money. I subscribe to Netflix, Huluplus, Direct TV with HD DVR... and I am currently considering upping my tier with Direct TV for ONE (kind of an important but still ONE) channel. In fact those same Olympics in 2004 cost me money too, not because I had to pay for them, but because in order to get cable before the Olympics I had to pay the $100 installation charge, had I waited till after the Olympics when the next available appointment actually was, it would have been free installation. I was a broke student at the time.

Now a days when the economy is a mess, and I still work in an unpredictable industry, these seemingly little expenses are probably not a necessity.

So, there you have it folks, my TV habits have made, dumb, delusional, antisocial/lazy, ADD, and broke. Just like scientists and parents have been saying for years!!

However, in all reality, TV has actually made my life better...check bac tomorrow for how!